So here come the new Pilgrim Fathers, no longer in black hats and silver buckles, but in logo-stamped sneakers and smoked lenses, gliding across the football tarmac like prophets of freedom. They are no longer fleeing religious persecution; they are fleeing boredom, taxation, and perhaps, ultimate horror, the absence of intelligent leaders.
At the front, Jaden Smith, American rapper and composer, son of actor Will Smith and actress Jada Pinkett, self-proclaimed troubadour of PSG, raising his arms as if he had just liberated Lutetia, proclaiming at the end of the match, “we won,” with the enthusiasm of a general on campaign. Artistic director of a house whose name sounds as though it were uttered after a sneeze, “Louboucatin,” intent on redesigning France through an Instagram filter.
At his side, Pharrell Williams, with a cosmic smile and solemn declaration: “I am French.” Thus, nationality becomes a fragrance one spritzes between two chords, a F-sharp or a cashmere-flavored absurdity in the sauce of the Republic.
And then, John Clooney, “What else?”, who becomes French as others adopt a Labrador. Elegantly, of course, he does not colonize, he settles, an imperial nuance. One can already imagine villages transformed into permanent film sets, where even the roosters crow with a faint Californian accent. Continue reading →