LUXURY GETS PRICER
Louis Vuitton Hikes U.S. Prices to Dodge Tariff Tantrums. In yet another dramatic plot twist in the luxury-meets-politics soap opera, Louis Vuitton has decided that your next handbag should come with a side of international trade policy. Analysts at Bernstein and Barclays report a 4% price increase on the brand’s U.S. website a polite, monogrammed way of saying “tariffs are not our thing.”
The timing, unsurprisingly, aligns with the latest 10% import duty served up by the Trump administration like a surprise bill at a five-star restaurant. But insiders whisper that Louis Vuitton likes to nudge prices around this time anyway, perhaps as a spring tradition like tulips, but with more cowhide.
Meanwhile, Japan saw a 3% rise and France a modest 2%, because apparently luxury inflation is also a world traveler. Continue reading
KERING I WILL SURVIVE
Kering reported revenues fell 14 percent to 3.88 billion euros in the first quarter of 2025, dragged down by low store traffic and weak wholesale numbers at Gucci, where sales dropped 25 percent on a comparable basis.
The numbers trailed the performance of Kering’s larger luxury rivals LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton, which reported a 3 percent dip in first-quarter revenues to 20.31 billion euros, and Hermès International, which bucked the trend and delivered a 7.2 percent improvement to 4.13 billion euros. Continue reading
VODKA CAFÉ FOR 50 BUKS
Do you like coffee as well a vodka? Do you like spending $50 on something you’ll regret from the first sip. Congratulations, Belvedere has literally distilled your dreams or nightmares into a single bottle. “The Belvedere Dirty Brew. Because yes, why settle for drinking an espresso and a vodka separately when you can combine the two and make your taste buds and your banker weep?
Available at Selfridges, the London temple of people who find the word “sale” an insult, this sensory marvel is sold for the modest price of $50, or around 47 coffees to take away, or half an evening in a decent bar.
It’s an expensive-looking bottle, with a name vaguely reminiscent of a dodgy website, and inside it’s coffee and booze playing Battleship in your stomach. But be warned, this isn’t just any coffee. No. It’s craft coffee.
Because when you put the word “artisan” on anything, you can sell it for twice as much as the Arnault lord. At that price, you’d at least hope that the beans were ground by a Tibetan monk at the top of the Himalayas during a full moon. And for those who find the name a little… suggestive, “Dirty Brew”, that’s normal: Belvedere wanted a drink as “daring” as the price.
FROM SS TO KYLIE JENNER PERFUME COTY
In 2024, Coty, the beauty giant and expert in bottling, luxury and ego, continued to bet on perfume as one would bet on a horse that has eaten Red Bull: with hope, confidence and a hint of panic. Fragrance is their engine for growth, their olfactory Elon Musk, their balance sheet booster.
In a burst of fragrant audacity, Coty has signed pacts (like arranged marriages between great families) with brands as prestigious as Swarovski (to sparkle like a disco ball), Marni (to smell like a contemporary art gallery) and Etro (which is never pronounced the same but always smells expensive). They’ve even enlisted Lena Gercke, a German presenter and model with a minimalist techno name, to launch “LaGer”, a line of mainstream fragrances. Yes, mainstream, like a lukewarm beer… but in a designer bottle. The name sounds like peach and vanilla.
Internally, Coty has also come up with a premium line called ‘Infiniment Coty Paris’ because nothing says “class” like a long name with ‘Paris’ in it. They’ve stuck their ‘Molecular Aura™’ technology on it, which is supposed to make the fragrance last 30 hours. Yes. Enough to survive a techno night, a morning after drinking, and a family brunch without re-parfuming. Bimbos, you’ve been warned, it’s going to smell strong in the Uber.
COSTARELLA DIED AT 60
Australian designer Aurelio Costarella has died at age 60 after a recent diagnosis with Creutzfeldt Jakob.Western Australia’s most successful designer, Perth-born a stalwart of the Australian Fashion Week schedule for a number of years.
At his peak he was selling to Barneys New York, Harvey Nichols, Henri Bendel and Villa Moda, with 100 stockists in Australia, including the David Jones department store chain.
His designs were worn by names including Queen Mary of Denmark, Cate Blanchett, Charlize Theron, Rihanna, Geri Halliwell and Dita Von Teese.In 2017, citing the difficult retail economy and mental health struggles, he shuttered his business to focus on art.
RALPH LAUREN RETOUR A MANHATTAN
Yesterday, TriBeCa was abuzz with emotion as Ralph Lauren illuminated New York in broad daylight, abandoning its nocturnal splendour to make the most of natural light. The autumn 2025 collection was unveiled in the elegant setting of Jack Shainman’s new flagship shop, in a suspended moment that only Ralph Lauren knows how to create.
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DIOR MAN TO MAN
Oyé oyé braves gens, listen to the news that has just broken, crisper than a lukewarm croissant on a Sunday morning! You see, our fashion mogul, the lord of the Arnaults himself, has decided to play fashion journalist, but with an announcement that’s… shall we say… unexpected!
Just imagine the scene: the cushy shareholders sipping their overpriced mineral water, when PAF! Le Bernard drops the bombshell: “Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your designer bags, because Kim Jones, the master of scissors for these gentlemen at Dior, will be replaced by Jonathan Anderson.
It’s even rumored that in the group’s hushed corridors, jaws dropped faster than summer sale prices. Interns almost spilled their coffee (organic, of course), art directors briefly considered becoming sock sellers at the market, and Fabienne de Sourdis nearly fainted.
So get ready, gentlemen, because the Anderson version of Dior style promises to be… how can I put this… interesting! We can already imagine the models parading around in lobster-shaped hats and jackets made from lacquered duck feathers, made in China. Continue reading
THE POETICS OF DAILY
Dear lost children of fashion, you who live in the age of excess, I, the sublime Alessandro Michele, am going to spit out a few truths in red 99. Because someone has to shout while everyone else is bawling. Alessandro, that aesthete with the fingers of a fairy and a baroque heart, wanted to whisper to us a pause. A little break from the din, a breath in the circus of images, words and trends swallowed up and then thrown away in the moment like a lukewarm milkshake on a terrace.
LANTINK INHERITS THE SAILOR THRONE
Shudder fashionistas, Duran Lantink has just been crowned Jean Paul Gaultier’s new creative director. Yes, Lantink, the king of improbable cuts and recycled looks with the swag of an eco-fashion designer. And guess what? He’s become the very first official successor to Jean Paul himself. It’s a bit as if Gaultier had handed him the keys to the family dressing room and said: “Go on, son, have fun!
He will make his debut in September at Paris Fashion Week, where he will resurrect JPG’s ready-to-wear collection, which has been missing for over ten years (some of the dresses were probably sleeping in fashion cryogenics). Haute couture, on the other hand, will have to wait until January 2026. In the meantime, we’re burying the “collab à gogo” phase of the house: no more guest DJs on the catwalks, now it’s Duran who plays the fabric solo.
He’s not coming empty-handed: fresh from winning the Woolmark Prize, he’s already shaken up the fashion world with his crazy silhouettes. Gaultier himself describes him as having ‘the energy, audacity and desire to have fun with clothes’. In other words, he has all the makings of the new “enfant terrible”… except perhaps Madonna’s conical breasts. But hey, let’s give him time.
FM
FREE FALL IN THE HIGH SPHERES
When the rich cough, the stock market catches a cold. Black Monday on the Champs-Élysées of the CAC 40: luxury giants stumbled on their crocodile moccasins. A blow for caviar lovers and six-figure watch wearers: the group owned by the lord emperor of overpriced bags and inaccessible champagnes has announced a drop in sales.
Yes, you read that right: down 2%, or 20.31 billion euros, which is still… 20 billion more than we have in our account. The wines and spirits division was particularly hard hit: -9%. It would seem that even the ultra-rich have turned their backs on Dom Pérignon. After all, if you toast everything and anything, your liver says no.
Fashion and leather goods posted a slight -5%: apparently, the “bag that costs a minimum wage” collection no longer appeals as much as it used to. Perfumes were down 1%. Perhaps the rich are finally feeling the pinch? Kering, Gucci’s parent company, took a big hit with -5.2%, while Swatch Group and Richemont had a little hiccup, -1.1% and -1% respectively. It’s hard to believe that even luxury watches are struggling to come to terms with the downturn. The only one to keep a smile on its face in this depressing ball is Hermès, with a glorious +0.2%. Continue reading
VUITTON WEST OF THE EDEN OF REFINEMENT
Welcome to the luxury western. It’s in Texas that the lord has set down his suitcases, or how to mess up a leather goods show with panache. So, fasten your seatbelts (made of cowhide vaguely tanned with plastic), because the “made in USA” luxury rodeo is in full collapse. The famous luxury house, apparently the empire of French refinement, had decided to plant its golden pumps… in the heart of the state near the Rio Grande. The result? A factory that looks more like a Monty Python sketch than a high-end craft workshop.
A “significantly insufficient performance,” the man from Toledo is said to have said. Translation: it’s a disaster. Apparently, there’s a shortage of talented leather craftsmen… Who would have thought it? Offering $17 an hour to make bags worth 3,000 quid, without requiring any experience, what a brilliant strategy! It’s like asking a teenager watching “Road Bull” to build a cathedral.
And what’s more, it took them years to learn how to sew a pocket. A pocket! Not a damp squib like Musk, not just a pocket! And meanwhile, the leather waste rate reaches 40%, twice the norm. When the bag is ugly and poorly made? Hey presto, it’s incinerated. Literally burned in a huge fire of shame, or sold to Mexican migrants as a counterfeit. “No, I’m just kidding.” Continue reading
GUERLAIN SPA IN A BIG APPLE
Attention, overworked New Yorkers, dehydrated models, and globe-trotting CEOs in desperate need of spiritual realignment: your salvation has arrived. And it smells like lavender hand-picked by aromatherapy-certified elves. This summer, Guerlain is gracing us with the grand opening of its largest spa ever inside the legendary (and recently zhuzhed-up) Waldorf Astoria New York. Yes, you read that right: a 30,000-square-foot wellness cathedral dedicated to inner glow, outer glow, and deep post-brunch hydration.
After years of renovations, the Waldorf is finally reopening, more committed than ever to being the final frontier of capitalist self-care. Guerlain, once the spa partner in a former (less opulent) life, is back and bigger than ever with a space so luxurious it’s probably tiled in caviar and draped in PhD-level towels. But don’t call it a spa. It’s a Wellness Spa. Three words that, when said together, roughly translate to: “Please swipe your Black Card now.”
PARIS FASHION WEEK 30 DAYS TO DRESS BERCY
Dgena Mouclier, embodying the union of luxury and eco-responsibility. She dresses the first French rapper in audience as well as the entire French rap music scene. The initials “DM” not only reflect the designer’s name but also her heritage, with “Dgena” meaning “paradise” in Maure and “Mouclier” evoking “mouclade,” a dish from Vendée associated with French royalty. Continue reading
PRADA AND THE GOLDEN MEDUSA
We know L.V as the luxury behemoth, capable of absorbing houses like a trophy collector. But this time, while everyone was waiting for The lord to pull off another coup, it was Prada that stole the show by buying Versace for the modest sum of 1.25 billion euros. A deal conducted with the finesse of a Milanese tailor, while LV, perhaps distracted by a vineyard acquisition or yet another flagship store on the Champs-Elysées, looked elsewhere.
After months of rumours and whispers in the hushed salons of the fashion world, Prada has made official its acquisition of 100% of Versace from Capri Holdings. And the Milanese giant has made no secret of its delight. ‘We are delighted to welcome Versace into the fold of the Prada Group and to write a new chapter for this iconic fashion house’, said Patrizio Bertelli, head of the Prada Group, with the small, satisfied smile of someone who has just pulled off an excellent coup.
The deal will be financed by €1.5 billion in debt, proof that Prada is serious about its ambitions. Andrea Guerra, the group’s CEO, has assured us that Versace has ‘enormous potential’ and that it will take ‘time and discipline’ to drive this evolution. Translation: Donatella has done a good job, and now we’re going to roll out our plan gently.
VAUTHIER OFFICIALLY IN A COUTURE COMA
Breaking news in the fashion world: Alexandre Vauthier, the maestro of glamour, has slammed the door on his own couture house! Just seven months after Revolve, the Californian online shopping giant, got its hands on his brand, the designer decided he’d had enough. Clearly, art and algorithms don’t mix well.
After 15 years of lighting up red carpets and making Beyoncé and Madonna’s shoulders shine, Vauthier reportedly said “ciao” with flair taking a few stylists with him, just to avoid leaving alone.
His departure comes as the house has been struggling since 2021, when the Paris Commercial Court decided a little judicial restructuring wouldn’t hurt the books. After being auctioned off in a high-fashion bidding war, it was Revolve that ultimately took the prize. Jackpot: €250,000 for a Parisian couture house the price of a good Hermès bag and a half. A golden deal for the Americans, who in return promised a nice €6 million investment. Let’s hope it wasn’t in Trump crypto.
KARDA BECAUSE ONE EMPIRE ISN’T ENOUGH
After raking in $4 billion with Skims (no big surprise), Kim Kardashian decided to relaunch her beauty empire because, of course, world domination wouldn’t be complete without a little contouring and a signature scent.Industry experts (i.e., those paid to analyze celebrity business) are wondering if, this time around, Kim’s beauty line will have the same staying power as her ever-growing list of businesses. Launching and relaunching brands is practically a hobby for the Kardashian family.
BETWEEN TWEED AND SILK
Chanel recruits friends of friends, and Matthieu Blazy is no exception. Freshly arrived as Chanel’s artistic director on April 1 (I thought it was an April fool’s joke?), he is already starting to set up his little kingdom. And as in any good fashion monarchy, you don’t choose your allies at random.
First strategic hire: Andrew Heather. A veteran of the luxury cloth industry, he graduated from the Royal College of Art in London and worked for Margiela. A golden CV, but above all, a well-stamped membership card in the very closed circle of designers in transformation.
The recipe is simple: take a former McQueen, mix him with Givenchy, sprinkle him with a pinch of Margiela haute couture and throw him into the Chanel arena. The expected result? An entourage worthy of a society dinner, where the petits fours are rarer than the oversized egos.
L.V BED TRUNK AND MORE
Not content with just your bag or wallet, the brand is now taking over your living room, too. From the iconic Louis Vuitton 1885 Bed Trunk (because who doesn’t need a fancy trunk to sleep on?) to the Hemingway Library Trunk designed by Gaston-Louis Vuitton in 1927 (because Ernest Hemingway obviously needed a portable library for his really long trips), the French luxury brand has been cozying up to the design world for quite some time. And now, they’re ready to turn your home into a monument to expensive taste.
The Louis Vuitton Home Collections because clearly, your home isn’t complete without $30,000 worth of design is about to be your new obsession. It’s a comprehensive line that includes five categories: Objets Nomades (fancy name, but probably just a chair you’ll never sit on), the Signature Collection of furniture and lighting (because your lighting really needs a signature), Decoration (don’t forget the objects and textiles, darling), Tableware (for serving your $1,000 meals), and Exceptional Gaming (because, why not?).
KIM A TAILOR-MADE BUSINESS
It’s always the same story with the ‘Boring Karda’; a story as old as her own reflection in her vanity mirror. So there she is, decked out in sparkles worthy of a Mughal treasure (Mongolian suits her so well), criss-crossing Mumbai like an Instagram maharani to attend the wedding of a billionaire who pays the guests at the height of the Bimbo’s hips. Suddenly, disaster! A diamond vanishes into the crowd, and there she is in panic, what a tragedy! What a tragedy! Don’t diamonds last forever?
What followed was a grotesque scene of frantic searching of the ground, and the cleavage of her outfit as big as the chasm at Padirac, to find the lost jewel worth 20 million dollars. She and her sister can’t resist immortalising their anguish in a few well-timed selfies? Between panic and narcissism, the choice is quickly made: in their world, aesthetics always take precedence over reality. Perhaps the diamond, tired of being a mere ornament on the bimbo, preferred to escape. Courage, let’s flee! hoping for a more noble second life under the paving stones of Bombay. Continue reading
BURÇ AKYOL 2025 N.Y
Against the stigmatisation of the LGBTQIA+ community, Akyol boldly appropriates the insults he suffered as a child, transforming them into veritable banners of pride. ‘The only thing you can do is make banners out of them, so no one can hurt you again,’ said Akyol backstage.
JACK THE DRAPER BURBERRY
British tennis player Jack Draper has gone from being a friend of Burberry to an official member of its global family. In short, he’s moved from the couch to the living room.
He’s joining the brand’s exclusive club alongside Tang Wei, Zhang Jingyi, and Bright. Suffice it to say, he’ll have to get used to photoshoots where he’ll be asked to stare intently at the horizon while wearing an impeccable trench coat.
“It’s inspiring to see Jack Draper representing Great Britain with such commitment. He’s already one of the most talented athletes of his generation, and we can’t wait to watch his matches in the coming months,” said Daniel Lee, Burberry’s creative director. “We hope he doesn’t sweat on his clothes.”
Draper is ranked number 7 in the world and number 1 in the British ATP rankings, which makes him an excellent advertisement for Burberry: he’s fast, precise, and hopefully waterproof.
FM
ALAÏA THE BREATH OF EVIDENCE
In the shadows of the workshops, a secret is often whispered, a whisper of ‘silk’, sometimes a caress of drapery, the house of Alaïa becomes the temple of curves and pure lines, under the expert hand of Mulier. With the glow of the Guggenheim, Pieter Mulier returned to the Big Apple to sculpt the fabric. He delivers a dream sewn of rigour and grace, a symphony of purity, a breath of evidence.
THE COSMETICS REVOLUTION THAT SPREADS
Forget glass skin, the fad of yesteryear that made women’s faces look like freshly polished windscreens. Now it’s time for ‘butter skin’. an innovative concept that combines glamour with the essential need to look delicately buttery at any time of day.
It was model Aisha Potter who, with a digital spatula on TikTok, dared to lay the foundations of this culinary-cosmetic revolution. Her secret? Products that melt so easily you could spread them on your face. Say goodbye to compact powders that are too dry and old-fashioned! Here, we’re celebrating ointments, creams, dripping fluids – in short, anything that leaves a soft imprint on the epidermis, like a lump of butter left on a radiator in the middle of August, perfect for parties like the Dernier Tango in Paris.
The promise? A complexion as luminous as a lump of butter under a supermarket neon sign. All with a touch of sensuality for skin as soft and creamy as a freshly baked brioche.
Experts agree that this trend could go even further. Some influencers are already experimenting with ‘margarine skin’, while others are advocating ‘glow mayonnaise’, where the light reflects so well off the skin that it’s impossible to distinguish the forehead from a hollandaise sauce. Continue reading
THE LORDS OF LUXURY DICTATE SILENCE
Unfortunately, these monarchs in patent leather shoes don’t stop there. If your murderous pen bothers them, they’ll attack the most precious thing you have: your children. Yes, these virtuous merchants of dreams are turning into modern-day inquisitors, blacklisting your descendants from all the headhunting agencies and companies in their group. Guilty by descent, heretics by birth, condemned to professional exile even before their first CV.
And what can we say about these CEOs, these lacklustre kings of Toledo, so ugly in their tyrannical grandeur? Unable to bear the slightest criticism, they rule by soft terror, a totalitarianism scented with vanilla and oud. They won’t send you to the Gulag, but they’ll make sure that nobody looks at you, reads you or hires you.
We live in a wonderful time, when the big luxury houses sell us the dream while imposing the nightmare. Their advertising campaigns extol inclusion, freedom and creativity, but beware of anyone who dares to lift the veil on the filth hidden beneath the Persian carpets of their gilded boutiques. Continue reading