Do you like coffee as well a vodka? Do you like spending $50 on something you’ll regret from the first sip. Congratulations, Belvedere has literally distilled your dreams or nightmares into a single bottle. “The Belvedere Dirty Brew. Because yes, why settle for drinking an espresso and a vodka separately when you can combine the two and make your taste buds and your banker weep?

Available at Selfridges, the London temple of people who find the word “sale” an insult, this sensory marvel is sold for the modest price of $50, or around 47 coffees to take away, or half an evening in a decent bar.

It’s an expensive-looking bottle, with a name vaguely reminiscent of a dodgy website, and inside it’s coffee and booze playing Battleship in your stomach. But be warned, this isn’t just any coffee. No. It’s craft coffee.

Because when you put the word “artisan” on anything, you can sell it for twice as much as the Arnault lord. At that price, you’d at least hope that the beans were ground by a Tibetan monk at the top of the Himalayas during a full moon. And for those who find the name a little… suggestive, “Dirty Brew”, that’s normal: Belvedere wanted a drink as “daring” as the price.