On Monday night, the gods of fashion gathered at New York’s Museum of Natural History where usually it’s the dinosaurs that steal the spotlight. This time, it was Ralph Lauren roaring: he took home the CFDA American Womenswear Designer of the Year Award. Ralph beat out Wes Gordon (Carolina Herrera), Rachel Scott (Diotima), Daniella Kallmeyer (Kallmeyer), and Tory Burch who’s probably starting to wonder if the jury has a personal vendetta against her.

Naomi Watts handed him the award, proving once again that she can do it all: cry in a horror movie and smile sincerely while giving a trophy to a man whose polos have taken over the planet since 1995.

In the menswear category, Thom Browne snatched the win. He triumphed over Mike Amiri, the duo Mike Eckhaus & Zoe Latta (Eckhaus Latta), the mystical Olsen twins of The Row, and Willy Chavarria. Thom Browne, let’s remember, dresses men like they’ve just escaped from a posh boarding school where rule number one is: “Never smile.”

Accessory of the Year? The Olsens again, of course. The Row is that brand that charges $5,000 for a minimalist bag so understated it could easily be mistaken for a lawyer’s document pouch. The trophy was handed to them by Benito Skinner and Jennifer Fisher probably the only guests still able to walk in heels after three hours of ceremony.

All in all, the glamour was there, the flashes were popping, and somewhere, a model in an evening gown was still wondering: “Wait… what does CFDA stand for again?”

FM