It’s official: even €3,000 handbags are feeling the blues. The latest earnings season in the luxury sector sparkled about as much as a Chanel bag after a spin cycle. LVMH, Kering, Hermès… all walked the runway of disappointing news. Even Moët Hennessy had to cork it  demand for cognac in China and the U.S. dropped lower than an influencer’s self-esteem during a brand blackout.

Financial analysts who’ve swapped gold watches for smart ones to monitor their blood pressure blame it on a drop in consumer confidence. Translation: the rich are worried, and the ultra-rich have decided 15 watches might actually be enough.

Add to that a trade war between the U.S. and China, tariffs falling faster than a Dior dress with a broken zip, and GDP growth doing the moonwalk in reverse… and voilà: the luxury sector’s sparkle has dulled. It still shines just more “fake diamond” than “cartier bling.”

Moët Hennessy even trimmed 1,200 employees roughly the size of a private party in Saint-Tropez. Cognac, once the drink of prestige, now sits behind chamomile tea: sad, but stylish.

The profit rebound everyone was expecting for late 2025? Maybe. If the stars align and Mercury behaves. Otherwise, we may need to launch a new trend: depressed luxury. Think “satin gown, anxiety lining.”

FM