Kering seems to have found the miracle cure for all its problems: changing (yet again) the CEO at Gucci. After nine months in the role, Stefano Cantino—barely the length of a maternity leave or two fashion seasons—has already been shown the door. Apparently, in luxury, instability is the new must-have accessory.

The new star in sight? Francesca Bellettini is being touted as “one of the most accomplished executives,” a former Goldman Sachs alum—in other words, the perfect candidate to wear impeccable suits while juggling Excel spreadsheets. Her arrival is being sold as a “crucial moment” by Luca de Meo, Kering’s new boss, who hasn’t even had time to set down his office plant before launching into a full-scale clean-up.

Let’s recall that even before officially stepping into his role, the man was already working “behind the scenes.” Translation: he was probably testing turnaround PowerPoints with as much suspense as a Survivor finale. His goal: to prove that Kering, despite its prestigious brands, can still bounce back.

In short, Gucci changes captains faster than it drops overpriced sneakers. But rest assured: everything is under control. In luxury, the important thing is to give the illusion that chaos is always perfectly… orchestrated.

FM