At Emporio Armani, it was a Netflix-style One Thousand and One Nights atmosphere. A dramatic turn of events: King Giorgio wouldn’t be coming. Officially, he was “convalescing.” Unofficially, he was binge-watching his own collection on a flat screen from his bed, likely in a silk bathrobe. It was Leo dell’Orco, faithful right-hand man and Italian Mr. Clean doppelgänger, who came out to wave at the end of the show. He announced in a zen tone that Giorgio had seen everything, loved everything, validated everything. The style was safe.

The set? A luxury Bedouin tent erected right in Milan, probably ordered from Amazon Sahara Edition. Wavy white curtains, a chic caravan vibe. And surprise: the season’s collection was neither grey, nor black, nor “classic Armani.” It was the Orient Express from Marrakech with a stopover in Dubai and a sandstorm soundtrack.

The show opened with a surprise attack: a battalion of over-caffeinated models ran down the runway as if fleeing Ukraine or Iran. Turbans screwed on their heads, tech shorts, windbreakers ready to face the Apocalypse.

Then, the register shifted to nomad-chic, Sunday brunch in Neuilly version. Linen suits and jute canvas that would alarm my neighbor, silk flying in the wind, mosaic-like prints reminiscent of a hammam. The models floated down the runway as if they’d replaced their GPS with an incense burner. The jackets were striped like beach djellabas, the drawstring pants recalled hiking bags, and vests were worn with nothing underneath (not for the faint of heart).

There were also suede caftans, ponchos that had done an internship in Ibiza, and braided leather scarves that even the Berbers would find a bit “too much.” All sprinkled with ethnic accessories: golden rings in the hair, tassel necklaces, raffia hats that could also serve as artsy doormats.

And for the evening, outfits embroidered with gold threads, silver reflections like a disco ball, ochre damasks that would make a royal couscous at Chanel pale in comparison. All that was missing was a dromedary for the grand finale, but my neighbor acting like a donkey perfectly replaced it.

FM