THOM BROWNE SENDS PESTS DOWN THE RUNWAY

Pest infestation alert at Fashion Week! Thom Browne has just transformed New York’s ultra-chic The Shed cultural center into a haute couture remake of A Bug’s Life, and we honestly don’t know whether to applaud or pull out the bug spray. Thom Browne is sending pests down the runway though I always thought they were sitting in the audience.

For his Spring 2027 collection, the designer decided that the pinnacle of glamour was looking like the contents of your compost bin. Goodbye minimalism, hello creepy-crawly-chic metamorphosis. Here is what you need to know about a runway show guaranteed 100% mosquito net-free: A flea’s 15 minutes of anatomy (and awkwardness). The show opened with models dressed as caterpillars, wearing grey anatomical bodysuits and sheer tutus. Visually, it hovered somewhere between pure poetry and an ultra-conceptual commercial for a tights brand.

To push the concept of metamorphosis to its absolute limit, one of these human caterpillars literally locked themselves inside a giant chrysalis right in the middle of the runway. Let’s just hope they remembered to bring their phone to pass the time. The luxury pest attack defines the signature Thom Browne wardrobe, featuring those famous suits with proportions so cropped they look like they shrunk in the wash, now colonized by the entire fauna of the sleeping undergrowth.

Dragonflies, ants, caterpillars, flies, and beetles invite themselves onto the tweed as embroideries. The “Bee on Sunflower” look: A bright yellow cropped jacket and skirt ensemble, perfect for shining in social circles slightly less ideal if you are allergic to stings or cross paths with an Asian hornet. The “Damp Moss” look: Designed essentially for bimbos, featuring a jacket adorned with textured fringes mimicking old plant moss dripping down the chest of a guy from the South of France.

The extreme fine line between textile genius and an urgent need for a power washer. Thom Browne pulls off the exploit of making insects desirable. We eagerly await the logical next step for Autumn-Winter 2027: a spiderweb three-piece suit and a “wasp nest” bucket hat. Until then, remember to shake out your jackets before putting them on!

FM