BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF
The planet is burning, the glaciers are melting, the oceans are suffocating. But rest assured: Bruno, a.k.a. “the Pavlova, in Slovaque” has just been named co-chair of the Fashion Pact. We can already picture the polar bears popping the Dom Pérignon, or rather the Dumb Pear-Onion.
This club of benefactors brings together the great luxury houses and the champions of overproduction, H&M and Inditex leading the way. It’s a bit like entrusting the protection of our lungs to the tobacco industry. Here, commitments are voluntary, sanctions are nonexistent, and independent audits are non-binding. Responsibility without the responsibilities: an admirable invention.
And here is the universal language of fashion communicators and their peroxided brains: “collective action,” “tangible impacts,” “global coalition.” Even Molière would have surrendered his quill, laughing, unable to do any better. Carbon neutrality is promised for 2040. How elegant to schedule the great victories for a date when their authors will probably have left office! After us, the flood, but in recycled cashmere.
The most delicious part is our new knight of the environment. Bruno the Belarusian-British also chairs the Fédération de la Haute Couture et de la Mode, where he defends the industry’s interests against European regulations. In the morning, resist constraints; in the afternoon, explain that the industry is reforming itself. A feat of gymnastics that deserves an Olympic medal.
We will be told about Nevold, circularity, responsible materials. A few initiatives in the spotlight while production volumes keep filling the warehouses and the shareholders’ coffers. For that is the true masterpiece of the Fashion Pact: passing off self-regulation as revolution, communication as action, and private interests as the salvation of humanity.
Fashion may not have figured out how to save the planet, but it certainly knows how to dress up its inertia. Not even the Lord Himself would have the effrontery to take us for fools! So, let the world burn! What matters is that the press release is printed on recycled paper. Welcome to the wonderful world of Luxury and Fashion.
FM
